Monday, 2 August 2010

30 Weeks, and a bit of silliness!

Disclaimer:  The following is sarcastic.  Tongue firmly in cheek, this is meant to be funny.  Go ahead and laugh.

"How are you feeling?"  This is a question often asked of a pregnant woman that I don't think has an honest answer.  How am I feeling?  I've been waiting to have this baby for years!  How am I feeling?  Positively ecstatic!  I am aware, however, that people are inquiring more about my physical state than my emotional one, and there's no real way to adequately respond to that without sounding like I'm complaining.  How am I feeling?  Pregnant.  Let me break that down a little.  I am 4' 11" tall.  At this stage in my pregnancy, the baby is approximately 16" long.  That is more than 1/3 of my actual height.  Let me assure you, there is no possible way for 16" of baby to fit comfortably in 9" of midsection.  And that is just the baby.  Furthermore, this babe likes my left side.  Entirely.  And apparently, my left kidney is quite amusing to play with.  Therefore, my entire left side from about the middle of my back all the way down is... How can I put this? ...  Uncomfortable.  Add to that the production of relaxin, causing my joints to be, well, relaxed, and you have a fun combination!  Perhaps now, you can see why pregnant women walk funny.  On top of that fact, I currently weigh about 1/8 more than I normally do.  Let me assure you that this is not the same as simply being overweight.  This is a goodly amount of weight gained in a very short period of time, concentrated in mostly one place.  My muscles and joints (which as I have previously mentioned are somewhat squishy) have not really had the time to adjust to carrying around this much.  My organs are not accustomed to supporting my current mass.  Not to mention the fact that my body is solely responsible for providing nourishment for a second human being.  Speaking of organs, what happened to all the organs which previously happily took up my entire belly?  After all, that space was home to such vital organs such as my bladder, intestines, the aforementioned kidneys, liver... you get the idea.  How does this mass which includes not only baby, but the placenta and amniotic bubble protecting the baby fit where all the other organs are supposed to go?  It shoves them out of the way, of course.  Imagine with me, if you will, taking the heaviest bowling ball provided at the alley and putting it not on top of your belly, but right smack in the middle of it.  Who needs space?  Speaking of the extra weight residing in my midsection, I have reached the point in my pregnancy where turning over to get to a (somewhat) comfortable position while sleeping can be a monumental task.  I wake up literally every time I turn over in bed.  And about half those times, I have to go pee due to all the pressure on my bladder.  Perhaps this is Mother Nature's way of preparing me for sleepless nights with a new baby.  One last point, and then I will be finished.  Let's talk, briefly, about the phrase "bun in the oven".  I have a bun in my oven.  I'm hot.  It's hot outside.  I believe the high temperature for today is supposed to be somewhere around 107.  Don't expect to see me taking a walk, or heading down to the pool.  The sun is not currently my friend.  I will see you outside again in October when it is cooler, and my little bun is finished baking.  For now, I am acting like a bear who has her seasons confused, and hibernating in the air conditioning.  I know my electric bill will not be pretty, and I will gladly pay whatever it costs to keep my hands and feet from swelling to the size of cantaloupes.
How am I feeling?  Tired.  Sore.  Ready for this to be done with.  But it's not time yet, so I'll sit here sipping my red raspberry leaf tea, and patting my belly while the baby incubates for a bit longer.  This isn't my first rodeo, so I knew what to expect.  Nobody ever said pregnancy would be easy, but it's oh-so worth it in the end.


Cristi said...

Only 8 or 10 more weeks to go! Wondering what your birth plan is. Oh and I hope like a good southern girl would, living where you live, you are drinking that tea over ice!

Mary and Jerry Bradshaw said...

So well written! I pray for you and Zachariah every day. I saw a girl at church Sunday who is expecting twin boys about the same time as you. She is taller, but she is just huge!