I often tell people that I'm stupid before about 10 o'clock in the morning. They laugh, largely because I say it with a smile and I'm totally poking fun of myself, but no one really takes it seriously. When I day "I'm stupid", what I really mean is that I'm unfocused. Really, really unfocused. So I drink coffee. Lots of coffee, to be honest, but it helps me focus, big time. This morning, as I was watching myself flit from one task to another, it occurred to me what I must look like to someone who does NOT have ADD and why so many people really don't get it when I say that I'm not a morning person. So here you have it. Early morning MJ.
I roll out of bed to get the girls off for school, and while I'm in the restroom, Zachariah wakes up. I grab Ana's medicine out of the medicine cabinet, greet Z for the morning and go make sure that both girls are up and getting ready. Check out the fence to make sure no tree limbs have taken it out in the storm so we can let Arynson out. Manage to inadvertently say something irritating and mildly insulting to Celestia because, coherent thought? She leaves in a huff. Get a container for Ana's lunch and pour her medicine out, dropping two of the pills onto the floor in the process. Find one, but not the other. That's a problem. Get Ana's lunch ready, all the time calling and reminding her of the time. She finally gets her contacts in (I don't know how she managed to function without them for so long this morning), shoes on, medicine taken, lunch in her bag, and out the door just in the nick of time.
Now I know what you're probably thinking. "That's not so bad." This is where it gets good.
Remembering the pill I dropped, I grab the broom to sweep. Zachariah tries to get the swiffer to help, but I don't really want him in the kitchen in case he finds the errant pill and thinks it looks tasty. I turn on Yo Gabba Gabba to occupy him while I'm sweeping. As I'm turning on the tele, he grabs his guitar and begins wildly jumping up and down and begging for a guitar pick. I know I've seen one somewhere recently, but can't remember where. We look for a minute or two, unsuccessfully, but by now Yo Gabba Gabba is playing and he's placated. Jonathan is out of town, so I call to tell him good morning and let him know that we seem to have come through last night's storms unscathed. While on the phone, I go back into the kitchen, begin to sweep and think "I should get the coffee started so it's ready when I'm finished sweeping." Go to wash my hands and notice that there's a couple of washcloths in the sink. The washing machine doesn't have a load in it right now, so I grab the dirty cloths and throw them in the washer along with all the towels in the laundry basket. Tell Jonathan good-bye and get off the phone. It starts raining again, so I let Arynson inside and grab his food, which he hasn't finished and bring it in so it doesn't get soggy. Finally get back to sweeping. Zachariah comes in the kitchen, opens the fridge and asks for yogurt and pomegranate juice. As he's not one to let anything rest, I stop what I'm doing, wash my hands, get it for him, and remember that I never finished brewing coffee. Get him settled again with breakfast and go back into the kitchen to brew coffee. While I'm setting the coffee up, I remember that Zachariah woke up as I was leaving the bedroom to get his sisters ready for school and I never changed his diaper. Not wanting to forget the coffee again, I finish setting it up and mash the start button. Whew! I go take Zachariah's wet diaper off and send him to potty while I put the diaper in the wet bag. Oh, hey! There's the guitar pick we were looking for earlier! Z comes in the bedroom and asks me to put a clean diaper on, and I suggest to him that he should wear underwear. It would be really nice if he would potty learn. He picks out a pair and goes back to watch TV some more. Back to sweeping again. I finally finish and determine that either the pill has rolled so far under the desk that no one will be able to reach it, or I actually dropped it back into the bottle and not on the floor. That crisis averted, I pour myself a cup of coffee, which has finally finished brewing, and settle down to drink a little liquid concentration and blog. I just don't do mornings.